Victory

I can't remember if I've ever been so glued to the Olympics as this time around - twenty ten. I love watching athletes from around the world compete together. I am an American and I do enjoy learning team USA has succeeded in winning a medal. Still, I can't help but be excited for any young athlete from any country who has just beat out all the other contestants with their physical & mental ability under pressure. The Japanese men's figure skating team got my attention this year. They are small men - determined. All 3 of them made mistakes - which can happen under such pressure, extreme practicing - and with our human nerves. Still - they had me standing up and cheering at their honor and dedication. One of them had his bootlace break near the end - and he was determined to finish. Each of them had such strong personal style and artistry. Takahashi (photo) took the bronze and I'm sure we will continue to see him and his team mates in future years. Everyone did their best. Several who attempted the virtuous quadruple fell - but they tried. I enjoyed watching each of them try. We've seen Plushenko several times in the last 10 or so years (those who follow world competitions for such events). He is a talented and capable athlete. Too bad he chose the low road with a mind trip after the short program and sour grapes after meriting only a silver after the long program. He did land the quad early on - he was less stable on all other landings and the rest of his loops were few and far between. He is less agile on his sit spins. He did well. I enjoyed everything about Evan's performance - his smile - that he landed each triple and double solidly. He is agile and graceful and artistic. It was a great clean performance and he was just slightly better all around than Plushenko. Not because he was an American - but just because. Plushenko chose to openly grumble about his false truth that only with a quad is a gold medal justified. Did he look at the side by side scores awarded by the judges? Are the judges mistaken ? ;-) Truth be told - I thought the handsome guy from Switzerland was going to do it. But he fell a couple of times and lost his steam about half way through. I felt bad for him. Takahashi fell - but he still got the bronze and did an exceptional job of continuing his performance. While Johnny Weir may be eccentric in his dress and mannerisms - I thoroughly enjoy watching him skate. He has a ton of style and puts his all into his skate. He's a winner in my book for being true to himself and putting himself out there. Victory can be a display of true perfection OR a display of determination and integrity. Who decides when you have won or lost?

Good Advice

In my 49 years, I come to know about stories where very public affairs altered lives, hurt feelings, ruined careers and reputations.

As a young woman - I was not always as careful as I might have been which was partly fear and partly naivety.

It may be by the grace of God that mostly - when a couple gets together either in or out of wedlock, planned or unplanned - a life is not created. I remember reading that even on a very good day and in the very best of circumstances - human conception is something like 25% successful or something like that. As a Christian - I think that one of the best supporting arguments for sex AFTER marriage is that human conception is a blessing and responsibility of marriage. I value human life and even children born of scandal can find a better identity than some of the unpleasant labels we have for them. We're humans - no one takes a test before being allowed to have sex and possibly become a parent.

Just reading the ugly story of Senator John Edwards and he is not the first public figure to fall from grace because of an affair. When I read the account of Andrew Young's now public knowledge of the John Edwards affair - I cringe when I read, "according to Mr Edwards, his mistress was unable to bear children."

Hey, they beat the odds!

How powerful are 3 little words - use a condom.

Fit after 40... oh crap!

For years I've been fairly small, petite-ish, havent had to worry about my weight because I was quite active and didn't have a ton of food hang-ups. Worst thing is I adore rice, pasta & bread - and I used to drink occasionally.

Since 39, I have dropped drinking, watched my carbos for the most part - my work life balance is out of whack - and in the last 3 or so years, I know my metabolism is slowing and my exercise routine is scattery. My doctor even said - your metabolism is not good - bad cholesterol is up - get back to the gym!

The last 2 months - I have had a constant 3x a week YMCA visit complete with at least 40 cardio minutes plus weights, abs, squats and weight lifting. Probably another 2 days I do a modest yoga/pilates routine or walk. This has resulted in NO CHANGES. My clothes are not looser, the scale yawns at me - where am I going wrong?

Probably drinking more water through the day is advisable.

So I read about boosting your metabolism after 40 - the word is more smaller meals fed into the machine keeps it constantly burning. I suppose it is worth a try.

Did I mention I'm not good at daily maintenance? Dishes often wait, dust bunnies fly, I don't even take a multi-vitamin. So lady - make some changes or stop complaining.

Birthdays!!! ugh

Thought bubbles

Do you love anyone enough to lick the soap out of their eyes?

As a child - my mom loved me enough to lick the soap out my eyes at bath time. She felt that a washcloth was too harsh and anything else wouldn't do the job better than mom's tongue. Is it any wonder I am an animal freak? Or that I'm as spoiled as I am?

When I think about it - any relationship of mine that ended was either about differing values, possibly selfishness, choices in friends, inability to open up more. But bottom line - if I was complaining that my friend or sweetheart didn't meet my needs or expectations - often times - there just wasn't enough love or respect.

In Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages", he discusses that each of us translate love from one main love language. If our friend or partner does not express themselves in our love language at least some of the time - we're not "feeling it" and likely the relationship will suffer.

I don't believe this unmet need happens only at home. I think this happens in society and at work. Imagine the complexity of the work relationship. Our "contract" states that for a wage and benefits (if you get them) you deliver some sort of output in the form of time and whatever your job requires you to do. At any given point in time - we humans are going through physical issues (ADD, diabetes, gout, PTSD, post nasal drip, PMS and whatever the male version is called), learning disabilities (dyslexia, visual learners without good visual cues, kinesthetic learners without enough stimuli, and all the other variations), over stimulation in the form of meetings, e-mails, phone calls and multitasking. Besides this - who gets enough respect at work? If your love language is quality time and your boss or your team wont explain themselves clearly - do you think it affects how well you cope and deliver at work? If your identity at home is suffering - do you look for it at work? And vice versa. If you don't get it at home or at work - where do you go? Alchohol? smoking? drugs? Internet chat rooms or porn?

Yes, very touchy feely - but we're humans and we need to get our needs met.

Much of my needs are currently being met by a very few number of people and God. This last one has licked more than a few of the bubbles from my eyes. We're going through some trying times - the media present us with the shock value of the words of our current crisis (is Brangelina on or off? Did Newt SLAM Obama?). The economy is bad - its bad in most countries. World hunger, natural and man made disaster (i.e. war, oppression, ignorance) are the soap bubbles in our eyes. Who is there to lick these bubbles from our eyes?

Mom said that natural saliva quickly removes the bubbles and converts the stingy soap to a consistency more like tears. I think the shock value of knowing my mom would do that stopped me from crying and distracted me from the irritation. Anyway - my love language is quality time and hers is words of affirmation. I got my quality time - and she got my words: "thank you mom". Problem solved.

If only we as America could figure out how to get the bubbles out of our eyes and then share with the others. That would be shocking.

Dealing with impossible people

Ever start a friendship with someone who seems interesting and deep - but the depth comes with a heavy price? Say, your conversations always focus on their extreme intelligence, or experience - and they know more than you, they always have the last word, their side of the conversation turns into a rant?

If you're like me - you can easily be lead into a dark corner that has you the bad guy and them the wise one somehow "outing" you as the problem.

I found a great blog entry on dealing with impossible people - and I found this quite helpful in moving forward.... here I thought I was just interested in starting a relationship with an a_hole. How silly of me.

Here is the blog http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People

Dont like your problems? Look at someone elses...

I was twirling for a few days about someone who "yanked my chain" so to speak and I happened to read a blog about a woman struggling with her trials. She was completely in a hole over a man who had sort of led her on for nearly 3.5 years - only to learn somewhat indirectly that this guy had "found the woman of his dreams...." and all sorts of other nasty details that only thrashed her heart around and tore her skin off. My chain was yanked for a brief moment - and its over mostly. I could tell this lady was really hurting - and I was thankful for my tiny problems of the moment. I was only misunderstood, ranted at, criticized, and wrongly accused of perhaps more than normal supply of ignorance...with an undertone of racism...which I resented.

There are so many wonderful natural ways of getting over things. I read yesterday how important a good deep breath of air is to the human psyche. If you read this - whoever you are - wherever you are - right now...take a deep breath of air into your lungs. You know - from down deep in your lungs - your stomach should inflate when you do this. Yes.... breathe. Get a few good ones. And, if you can, go out and hug a tree while you're at it.

who took your power?

Did someone take your power?

I'm not talking about your power trip - but your right to feel in charge of yourself?

At work - are you under attack for advocating something of value? Are you expected to perform at unreasonable rate or level? Has someone invalidated you and your integrity? Do you let a tight job market place a low value on your head?

At home - does your partner belittle you because you're imperfect? Did they jump to conclusions without seeking understanding? Did someone control you in a way that really violated your boundaries and standards?

Everyone needs to feel some of their own power. Once that is taken away - you're on a free-ride to unhappiness.

Take back your power - right now. Put your universe back in balance - you in charge of you and your destiny - them in charge of them. Learn from your mistakes - if you are taking away someone's personal power in an effort to manage or even love someone - you've brought an imbalance that will eventually lead to failure.