Positively Campaign (or my happiness project)

Yesterday marked a year since the break-up of something I thought I really wanted. I looked over last years notes and decided those were not the words I wanted so publically on display. Something I criticize others for on Facebook. Mea culpa.

I've had a fairly smooth sailing life in the last year as far as relationships go (friendships and other) - except for work. As I learned last year - I fall into the category of cognitive distortion: meaning I get over agitated by perceiving my relationships incorrectly. I may over analyze, fear the worst. I may wait for the other shoe to drop.

This last year I'm in a new job - the workplace is a frustrated place with lots of ambiguity. I'm a project manager - a logical and often linear thinker. If I don't see clarity in my path - I get thrown off.

So - I'm working on a self-campaign to work on my own distortions.

Some of the campaign will be physical. In order to trick the brain into re-thinking - I need to be in better physical health.
a) eat the best brain foods that have MUFA's
b) vitamins k, D, complex B's
c) daily exercise - even if it's just 20 minutes
d) energy work - tapping, breathing, essential oils for serenity & immune boosting
e) brain wave therapy
f) do I need a maintenance boost from Nina or Jolene?

Then I need to exercise my yet poorly practiced cognitive re-awareness
a) am I over analyzing?
b) am I assuming the worst?
c) review the ANTS list (to be discussed later)

What about my financial health - that affects how I feel
a) debt elimination
b) savings - long and short term

Spiritual Health
a) church and service work on track?
b) prayer & meditation
c) scripture reading

More later.....

Are you going to the faire?

I love faires

Summertime, faires and fresh fruit are just the best tripple combo I can think of. Unless you add concerts and fireworks.

Wearing yellow and orange and flip flops make my day.

Fresh cut grass, watered lawns and effulgent gardens ROCK MY WORLD.

(note: I do not have a green thumb nor am I great at maintenance - but I do enjoy others efforts)

As we wind down summer - I'm headed to our Renaissance Pleasure Faire (No Cal) not to welcome Autumn but to celebrate a great summer. Even thouth it started with the end of a romance (boo hoo).

I'm thankful

Atonement

I have somehow needed to spin for almost the exact length of a relationship.

I have had to face my fears

I have had to learn some lessons at the cost of losing someone. We both had some big issues.

I wrote some angry things that real love would not write.

I don't want that to be about anger - so I forgive me and I forgive you.

Wow - that hurt.

Amen

Where Did You Go?

OK, I thought I found you and apparently not.

You have been elusive - I wait and then think we've met and we haven't.

I get lots of input from friends and family: don't try so hard, you're acting desperate, you should be more open minded, you're lucky you've met any guy at that age, you should be more discerning.

At 49, having tried many types of men, many paths that would lead me to you - each time I go through an emotional spin-out when I realize it was not you I found.

Not yet, that is.

I always find some hope that you are there. That the very next time I reach out I will find you.

Today I'm not really ready - still spinning a bit from this most recent attempt that didn't work out.

Have patience or get busy looking for me.

I'm here

Help - what now?

Break up got you crazy?

Yup

A new strong emotion every 5 minutes and I keep thinking of follow-up thoughts to our last words. Am I normal - please someone duct tape me to my chair.

How do you cope with this - we're just over 32 hours - WHAT, I'm not patient enough?

ok

What do you suggest? Long walks? Music? no Music?

so the peace doesn't settle in right away?

ok, I'll try a little longer

Terri recommends:

I get comments that people like things I buy (clothes, jewelry, household items) and so I'm going to give a shout out to a few sites I love:

hand made items - household as well as clothing:
http://www.etsy.com/

moderate to expensive but stunning items in cashmere and such:
www.whiteandwarren.com

organic and must have t-shirt wear
www.alternativeapparel.com

tie-dye items
www.sunshinejoy.com

earth and human friendly skin care
www.gardenbotanika.com

I have also found fantastic shopping in airports - on my top 3 is Utah, Salt Lake City, Phoenix, AZ and San Francisco International (particularly the United & International terminals. Oh yeah - must give a shout out for London Heathrow

thats it for now - happy shopping

Faith in Fact

In church on Sunday - a member from the congregation gave a talk about exercising faith every day. This is a young husband and father - he served a church mission and daily practices his faith in God, in his religion and the teachings our Christian branch follows. Much of what he said was scripture based, or focused on a church leader who is our mouthpiece for Christ - I was not so engaged until he drew a parallel between our scriptures and an experiment he did. In Christian scriptures - a worthy prophet has a very close daily relationship with the Lord and is guided how to speak, act and mobilize for himself, his family and the people who follow him. He and the people are guided and protected so long as they follow the teachings of the Lord. Often - under dire circumstances (think Abraham or Moses or Noah) - and the people are blessed and preserved. In parallel, the Prophet writes down what he felt were inspired words or acts - which we modern people know these as historic scriptures. Modern prophets can speak freely via many communications channels. This guy who spoke said he practiced this himself for the 2 weeks prior to giving his talk - each day upon rising before his family, he prayed for specific guidance for that day - and took it upon faith - he assumed - that everything he did, thought and felt was guidance from the Lord. He wrote down everything and followed the teachings he was (and had always been) given. His life changed. His family's life has changed as they all practice this. What if you did that? Wake and pray (think, meditate) for guidance and wisdom to endure and follow as you are instructed to do. Assume everything you feel and say and do is an inspiration. What a feeling to be guided (not told) how to engage for the day to get the most out of it and give the most you can. I'm trying it this week - and I'm finding this faith exercise factual. Have you ever done anything like this? Its quite empowering. If you're not much into religion or spirituality - use positive thinking and affirmations.