For years I've been fairly small, petite-ish, havent had to worry about my weight because I was quite active and didn't have a ton of food hang-ups. Worst thing is I adore rice, pasta & bread - and I used to drink occasionally.
Since 39, I have dropped drinking, watched my carbos for the most part - my work life balance is out of whack - and in the last 3 or so years, I know my metabolism is slowing and my exercise routine is scattery. My doctor even said - your metabolism is not good - bad cholesterol is up - get back to the gym!
The last 2 months - I have had a constant 3x a week YMCA visit complete with at least 40 cardio minutes plus weights, abs, squats and weight lifting. Probably another 2 days I do a modest yoga/pilates routine or walk. This has resulted in NO CHANGES. My clothes are not looser, the scale yawns at me - where am I going wrong?
Probably drinking more water through the day is advisable.
So I read about boosting your metabolism after 40 - the word is more smaller meals fed into the machine keeps it constantly burning. I suppose it is worth a try.
Did I mention I'm not good at daily maintenance? Dishes often wait, dust bunnies fly, I don't even take a multi-vitamin. So lady - make some changes or stop complaining.
Birthdays!!! ugh
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Thought bubbles
Do you love anyone enough to lick the soap out of their eyes?As a child - my mom loved me enough to lick the soap out my eyes at bath time. She felt that a washcloth was too harsh and anything else wouldn't do the job better than mom's tongue. Is it any wonder I am an animal freak? Or that I'm as spoiled as I am?
When I think about it - any relationship of mine that ended was either about differing values, possibly selfishness, choices in friends, inability to open up more. But bottom line - if I was complaining that my friend or sweetheart didn't meet my needs or expectations - often times - there just wasn't enough love or respect.
In Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages", he discusses that each of us translate love from one main love language. If our friend or partner does not express themselves in our love language at least some of the time - we're not "feeling it" and likely the relationship will suffer.
I don't believe this unmet need happens only at home. I think this happens in society and at work. Imagine the complexity of the work relationship. Our "contract" states that for a wage and benefits (if you get them) you deliver some sort of output in the form of time and whatever your job requires you to do. At any given point in time - we humans are going through physical issues (ADD, diabetes, gout, PTSD, post nasal drip, PMS and whatever the male version is called), learning disabilities (dyslexia, visual learners without good visual cues, kinesthetic learners without enough stimuli, and all the other variations), over stimulation in the form of meetings, e-mails, phone calls and multitasking. Besides this - who gets enough respect at work? If your love language is quality time and your boss or your team wont explain themselves clearly - do you think it affects how well you cope and deliver at work? If your identity at home is suffering - do you look for it at work? And vice versa. If you don't get it at home or at work - where do you go? Alchohol? smoking? drugs? Internet chat rooms or porn?
Yes, very touchy feely - but we're humans and we need to get our needs met.
Much of my needs are currently being met by a very few number of people and God. This last one has licked more than a few of the bubbles from my eyes. We're going through some trying times - the media present us with the shock value of the words of our current crisis (is Brangelina on or off? Did Newt SLAM Obama?). The economy is bad - its bad in most countries. World hunger, natural and man made disaster (i.e. war, oppression, ignorance) are the soap bubbles in our eyes. Who is there to lick these bubbles from our eyes?
Mom said that natural saliva quickly removes the bubbles and converts the stingy soap to a consistency more like tears. I think the shock value of knowing my mom would do that stopped me from crying and distracted me from the irritation. Anyway - my love language is quality time and hers is words of affirmation. I got my quality time - and she got my words: "thank you mom". Problem solved.
If only we as America could figure out how to get the bubbles out of our eyes and then share with the others. That would be shocking.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Dealing with impossible people
Ever start a friendship with someone who seems interesting and deep - but the depth comes with a heavy price? Say, your conversations always focus on their extreme intelligence, or experience - and they know more than you, they always have the last word, their side of the conversation turns into a rant?
If you're like me - you can easily be lead into a dark corner that has you the bad guy and them the wise one somehow "outing" you as the problem.
I found a great blog entry on dealing with impossible people - and I found this quite helpful in moving forward.... here I thought I was just interested in starting a relationship with an a_hole. How silly of me.
Here is the blog http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People
Dont like your problems? Look at someone elses...
I was twirling for a few days about someone who "yanked my chain" so to speak and I happened to read a blog about a woman struggling with her trials. She was completely in a hole over a man who had sort of led her on for nearly 3.5 years - only to learn somewhat indirectly that this guy had "found the woman of his dreams...." and all sorts of other nasty details that only thrashed her heart around and tore her skin off. My chain was yanked for a brief moment - and its over mostly. I could tell this lady was really hurting - and I was thankful for my tiny problems of the moment. I was only misunderstood, ranted at, criticized, and wrongly accused of perhaps more than normal supply of ignorance...with an undertone of racism...which I resented.
There are so many wonderful natural ways of getting over things. I read yesterday how important a good deep breath of air is to the human psyche. If you read this - whoever you are - wherever you are - right now...take a deep breath of air into your lungs. You know - from down deep in your lungs - your stomach should inflate when you do this. Yes.... breathe. Get a few good ones. And, if you can, go out and hug a tree while you're at it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
who took your power?
Did someone take your power?
I'm not talking about your power trip - but your right to feel in charge of yourself?
At work - are you under attack for advocating something of value? Are you expected to perform at unreasonable rate or level? Has someone invalidated you and your integrity? Do you let a tight job market place a low value on your head?
At home - does your partner belittle you because you're imperfect? Did they jump to conclusions without seeking understanding? Did someone control you in a way that really violated your boundaries and standards?
Everyone needs to feel some of their own power. Once that is taken away - you're on a free-ride to unhappiness.
Take back your power - right now. Put your universe back in balance - you in charge of you and your destiny - them in charge of them. Learn from your mistakes - if you are taking away someone's personal power in an effort to manage or even love someone - you've brought an imbalance that will eventually lead to failure.
I'm not talking about your power trip - but your right to feel in charge of yourself?
At work - are you under attack for advocating something of value? Are you expected to perform at unreasonable rate or level? Has someone invalidated you and your integrity? Do you let a tight job market place a low value on your head?
At home - does your partner belittle you because you're imperfect? Did they jump to conclusions without seeking understanding? Did someone control you in a way that really violated your boundaries and standards?
Everyone needs to feel some of their own power. Once that is taken away - you're on a free-ride to unhappiness.
Take back your power - right now. Put your universe back in balance - you in charge of you and your destiny - them in charge of them. Learn from your mistakes - if you are taking away someone's personal power in an effort to manage or even love someone - you've brought an imbalance that will eventually lead to failure.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Stranger in a strange land
Do you ever purposely go outside your comfort zone?
I think we Americans don't like this. We don't like change - yet we embrace diversity (don't we?) and freedom of speech (unless its our new President) and "thought leaders" (recently I was criticized because I apparently wasn't acting like a thought leader). Ok - I'll take my sarcasm gloves off now.
If you look at my profile - clearly - I'm quite Anglo. But deep inside - I'm part soul sistah. I took my white self across the Bay to the Oakland Art & Soul Festival for some fine music (gospel, soul, and bits of funk, blues, jazz, and whatever else can be found in a 5 block radius around the City Center). Yes - I was the minority.... yes, I was one of a few to sit my self down to some classic black Gospel sounds. I went for the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir - and got my gospel on with them. It was a fine day and I've never seen a happier group of people chillin together.
My own town on the Peninsula used to be quite a bit more soulful - I guess we scared our soul brothers and sisters away. I felt quite welcome in Oakland and I highly suggest you step outside your comfort zone - try some new foods - risk being stared at as the only (insert your oddities) in town. Represent yourself in a new place. You won't be strange for long... and just as I learned in Italy a few years back - maybe pack it up before dusk just in case.
What the heck...
I think we Americans don't like this. We don't like change - yet we embrace diversity (don't we?) and freedom of speech (unless its our new President) and "thought leaders" (recently I was criticized because I apparently wasn't acting like a thought leader). Ok - I'll take my sarcasm gloves off now.
If you look at my profile - clearly - I'm quite Anglo. But deep inside - I'm part soul sistah. I took my white self across the Bay to the Oakland Art & Soul Festival for some fine music (gospel, soul, and bits of funk, blues, jazz, and whatever else can be found in a 5 block radius around the City Center). Yes - I was the minority.... yes, I was one of a few to sit my self down to some classic black Gospel sounds. I went for the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir - and got my gospel on with them. It was a fine day and I've never seen a happier group of people chillin together.
My own town on the Peninsula used to be quite a bit more soulful - I guess we scared our soul brothers and sisters away. I felt quite welcome in Oakland and I highly suggest you step outside your comfort zone - try some new foods - risk being stared at as the only (insert your oddities) in town. Represent yourself in a new place. You won't be strange for long... and just as I learned in Italy a few years back - maybe pack it up before dusk just in case.
What the heck...
Monday, August 17, 2009
Workplace Today - Player Be Ware
Are you a team player? Do you really know what this means?
I was recently on a long term consulting assignment as a project manager of an application. In the time I was there – I helped to lay the foundation data and capabilities for 2 user groups. When I arrived, the project had gone through numerous delays and over the course of almost 2 years – the company went through numerous process changes and run the gamut from no process to too much and back.
At the end of my term there – I was asked to be part of a “team” to deliver a broader range of capabilities to a bigger user group and deploy new data, new capabilities, and a new environment for this group – all within an improbable time frame. The deal was – there would be little or no formal process and a tight deadline. Turns out – being a team player means being subject to micro management, daily chaos, ego's with personal agendas and little knowledge about the subject they speak, de-motivating intimidation tactics by people who see themselves a leader offering unreasonable deadlines to other ego's who have no idea whats going on behind the scenes – promises made regardless the accuracy or quality of output.
As the project manager – I thought that my part of the team would be to determine if timelines and quality could be met…. Not so. Being a team player meant whatever the leader of the moment feels it to be.
And I do believe this happens all over the corporate world. Money and time are wasted at the hands of a few. The talkers talk - the do'ers try to make it happen. Those who survive shut up and do their best and when the deadline can't be met because true quality of delivery is not ready. More money is spent replacing those who appeared to be "nay sayers" and getting a new team back up to speed.
Next time you’re looking at a new job description – remember the translation of key terms “team player”, “attention to detail”, “do what it takes” – can mean more than you bargained for. I consider myself a team player and I expect my input as a professional with experience to be important to goal attainment. Not always so.
yeah, this was a little ranty
I was recently on a long term consulting assignment as a project manager of an application. In the time I was there – I helped to lay the foundation data and capabilities for 2 user groups. When I arrived, the project had gone through numerous delays and over the course of almost 2 years – the company went through numerous process changes and run the gamut from no process to too much and back.
At the end of my term there – I was asked to be part of a “team” to deliver a broader range of capabilities to a bigger user group and deploy new data, new capabilities, and a new environment for this group – all within an improbable time frame. The deal was – there would be little or no formal process and a tight deadline. Turns out – being a team player means being subject to micro management, daily chaos, ego's with personal agendas and little knowledge about the subject they speak, de-motivating intimidation tactics by people who see themselves a leader offering unreasonable deadlines to other ego's who have no idea whats going on behind the scenes – promises made regardless the accuracy or quality of output.
As the project manager – I thought that my part of the team would be to determine if timelines and quality could be met…. Not so. Being a team player meant whatever the leader of the moment feels it to be.
And I do believe this happens all over the corporate world. Money and time are wasted at the hands of a few. The talkers talk - the do'ers try to make it happen. Those who survive shut up and do their best and when the deadline can't be met because true quality of delivery is not ready. More money is spent replacing those who appeared to be "nay sayers" and getting a new team back up to speed.
Next time you’re looking at a new job description – remember the translation of key terms “team player”, “attention to detail”, “do what it takes” – can mean more than you bargained for. I consider myself a team player and I expect my input as a professional with experience to be important to goal attainment. Not always so.
yeah, this was a little ranty
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