Update - August 7, 2022Recently I have thought about Peter Peepers (the tabby in this picture) who endured more than 11 years after Benino. Beni and Pete were constant companions. Peter joined us 2 years after Beni and Pete has outlived Beni, Jasper and then Armando.
Peter has been demanding, insistent (like to sit on the table and claw the furniture). Pete made it to 19 years old in late May of this year and has endured some kidney issues which have stabilized, some serious allergies and in the last 2 years, seizures. He has some underlying issues that may be more annoying like vision and hearing loss, digestive issues (throws up or poops outside the box) and I wondered if he was happy. I noticed his potty box habits changed, his fur was falling out at an alarming rate and that his breathing was erratic. On Monday, July 25th, 2022 at about 2:45pm - Pete, me and his vet decided he didn't owe me another day. 19 years and 2 months were fantastic. I chose to believe you and Benino are together again - happy and free of all that ailed you in the end. Mommy adores you both.
Good death, so say the Greeks, is a pain free one.
Today I will lay to rest my dear Benino Ludwig (cat) after not quite 10 years together. I have enjoyed his sensitive and delicate nature. A bit moody. Loving, fuzzy - the way he does twisty stretches. Of my 3 cats - he shows a bit of remorse when he knows I'm not happy with what he does.
After 12 years of a very demanding and "fractious" boy kitty (Guido Luigi) - Beni was my treasure. So he will go in history - on my wall of fur - and be spoken of kindly...with Guido, Tavala, Rosie, Max, Suzie, Angel.... dear Benino.
Right now he sits in my lap. For the last year - I have struggled to understand all I could about urinary tract issues - bladder stones - cystitis - chronic systitis - FLUTD - and why these things may not respond to grain free food, apple cider vinegar, steroids. I avoided surgery until it is not too late. I returned from a short trip and he took a sudden turn for the worse. I collect my rationale to tell myself later in time "I did the best thing for him". Well as humans - we often dont know what that is.
I'm human and I dont know if I have done the best for him. But I have loved him. Now there is only one sure way to end his suffering....euthanasia. 3 hours away. I stroke his head and kiss him and whisper another prayer.
Dear boy - may you never have another moment of pain.... and please forgive me for making this decision...I don't know what else to do.
Love
Mom
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