Monday, April 24, 2017

50 Rules to Live Healthier, Happier & More Successful on your own terms - B.P. Hardy

borrowed from Thrive Global
https://journal.thriveglobal.com/50-ways-happier-healthier-and-more-successful-people-live-on-their-own-terms-2dd13bb131c3

1. Stop consuming caffeine

Although people think they perform better on caffeine, the truth is, they really don’t. Actually, we’ve become so dependent on caffeine that we use it to simply get back to our status-quo. When we’re off it, we under perform and become incapable.
In his book, The Untethered SoulMichael Singer argues that your energy should come from within — from your why — not from external stimulants. The scientific backing is substantial and unsurprising: intrinsic motivationdestroys extrinsic motivation every day of the week.
Motivation aside — healthy eating, sleeping, and intensive exercise produce higher quantities and quality of energy than caffeine ever could. A holistic approach to life is essential. Garbage in, garbage out.
Give up the caffeine and see what happens. To avoid withdrawal headaches — which are mostly placebo — replace your caffeine with something else (another placebo). After a few days without caffeine, you’ll develop confidence in your ability to function without it.

2. Pray or meditate morning, mid-day, and night

In a recent interview at the Genius Network mastermind event, Joe Polish asked Tony Robbins what he does to get focused. “Do you meditate? What do you do?” Joe asked.
“I don’t know that I meditate. I don’t know that I want to meditate and think about nothing,” Tony responded, “My goal is clarity.”
Instead of full-on meditation, Tony has a morning routine that includes several breathing exercises and visualization techniques that get him to a state of clarity and focus. For me, I use prayer and pondering (my version of meditation) as the same vehicle.
Whatever your approach, the goal should be clarity and focus. What do you want to be about today?
What few things matter most during the next 24 hours?
I’ve gotten the best results as:
  • My morning prayer and meditation are motivational
  • My afternoon prayer and meditation are evaluative and strategic
  • My evening prayer and meditation are evaluative and reflective

3. Read 1 book per week

Ordinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek educationand learning. It is common for the world’s most successful people to read at least one book per week. They are constantly learning.
I can easily get through one audiobook per week by just listening during my commute to school and while walking on campus. Taking even 15–30 minutes every morning to read uplifting and instructive information changes you. It puts you in the zone to perform at your highest.
Over a long enough period of time, you will have read hundreds of books. You’ll be knowledgeable on several topics. You’ll think and see the world differently. You’ll be able to make more connections between different topics.
Reference #19 on this list if you feel you’re “too busy” to read one book per week. There are methods to make this task extremely easy.

4. Write in your journal 5 minutes per day

This habit will change your life. Your journal will:
  • Clear your emotions serving as your personal therapist
  • Detail your personal history
  • Enhance your creativity
  • Ingrain and enhance your learning
  • Help you get clarity on the future you want to create
  • Accelerate your ability to manifest your goals
  • Increase your gratitude
  • Improve your writing skills
  • Lots more
Five minutes per day is more than enough. Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, recommends writing far less than you want to — only a few sentences or paragraphs at most. This will help you avoid burnout.

5. Marry the person you love

“For all the productivity and success advice I’ve read, shaped and marketed for dozens of authors in the last decade, I’ve never really seen someone come out and say: Find yourself a spouse who complements and supports you and makes you better.” — Ryan Holiday
Research done by economists have found — even after controlling for age, education, and other demographics — that married people make 10 to 50 percent more than single people.
Being married gives you a higher purpose for being productive. You are no longer a lone ranger, but have another person who relies on you.
Marriage also smacks you in the face with what’s really important in life. Sure, hanging out and partying are fun. But too many people get stuck in this phase and miss the meaning that comes from building a life with someone.
You will never find a better personal development seminar or book than marriage. It will highlight all of your flaws and weaknesses, challenging you to become a better person than you ever thought possible.
Said Thomas Monson, “Choose your love; love your choice.” After you’ve chosen the person you love, love them. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. Said Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning, “For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.”

6. Make a bucket list and actively knock items off

Most people have it backwards — they design their ambitions around their life, rather than designing their life around their ambitions (see this free eBook on how to quickly create your ideal life).
What are the things you absolutely must do before you die?
Then design your life around those things. Or as Stephen Covey explained inThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Begin with the end clearly in mind.”
A simple mental exercise that may be helpful is imagining you only have 30 days to live. What would you do in those 30 days?
Now imagine you have 5 years to live. What would you do during those 5 years?
Get to work. The death-bed mentality is the only way to live. Stop pretending you’ll live forever. As Professor Harold Hill has said — “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”

7. Stop consuming refined sugar

If you stop consuming sugar, your brain will radically change. Actually, study after study is showing that refined sugar is worse for our brains than it is for our waistlines. According to Dr. William Coda Martin, refined sugar is nothing more than poison because it has been depleted of its life forces, vitamins and minerals.
Refined sugar has now been shown to make us cranky, make us make rash decisions, and make us stupid.
Again, like caffeine, if you stop eating refined sugar, you will experience some negative withdrawals. But, like any good habit, the effects of this will be seen in the long-run. What would your health be like a year from now (or five) if you were completely refined sugar-free?
Said Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, “It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.”

8. Fast from all food and caloric beverages 24 hours once per week

One-day (24-hour) food fasts are a popular way to maintain health and vigor. Fasting leverages the self-healing properties of the human body. Radical health improvements occur when the digestive system is given rest and the organs get ample time to repair and heal themselves.
A regular practice of fasting can:
  • Improve digestive efficiency
  • Increase mental clarity
  • Increase physical and mental vigor
  • Remove toxins
  • Improve vision
  • Give a general feeling of well being
Like all the other habits, fasting gets easier with practice. I’ve been fasting for years and it’s one of the best things I have done for my health.
Fasting is also one of the most recognized techniques in religious and spiritual practices. I also use fasting to get spiritual clarity and refinement.
Honestly, I could go on for hours about this one. Give it a try. You’ll never be the same.

9. Fast from the internet 24 hours once per week

Your body gets an intervention when you fast. Your mind and relationships could use one too. Unplug yourself from the matrix.
If you haven’t caught on already, human beings are highly addictive creatures. We love our coffee, sugar, and internet. And these things are all great. But our lives can be far more enhanced by using these tools in wisdom.
The purpose of the internet fast is to reconnect to yourself and your loved ones. So, you probably shouldn’t do it the same day you do your food fast. Because eating is one of the strongest ways to form bonds.
You’ll be blown away by how much more connected you feel to your loved ones when you can give them your undivided attention. It may even feel awkward for a while having a real-life conversation without looking at your phone every three minutes.

10. Stop consuming the news or reading the newspaper

Although the amount of warfare and deaths by human hands are reducing globally, you will not get that message watching televised news or reading the newspaper.
On the contrary, these media outlets have an agenda. Their goal is to appeal to your fears by inflating extreme cases — making them seem normal and commonplace. If they didn’t do so, their viewership would plummet. Which is why Peter Diamandis, one of the world’s experts on entrepreneurship and the future of innovation has said, “I’ve stopped watching TV news. They couldn’t pay me enough money.”
You can get high quality news curated from Google news. When you detox from the toxic filth that is public news, you’ll be startled as your worldview becomes radically more optimistic. There is no objective reality. Instead, we live in perceived realities and are thus responsible for the worldview we adopt.

11. Do something everyday that terrifies you

“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” — Tim Ferriss
But you don’t have to constantly be battling your fears. Actually, Darren Hardy has said that you can be a coward 99.9305556% of the time (to be exact). You only need to be courageous for 20 seconds at a time.
Twenty seconds of fear is all you need. If you courageously confront fear for 20 seconds every single day, before you know it, you’ll be in a different socio-economic and social situation.
Make that call. Ask that question. Pitch that idea. Post that video.
Whatever it is you feel you want to do–do it. The anticipation of the event is far more painful than the event itself. So just do it and end the inner-conflict.
In most cases, your fears are unfounded. As Seth Godin has explained, ourcomfort zone and our safety zone are not the same thing. It is completely safe to make an uncomfortable phone call. You are not going to die. Don’t equate the two. Recognize that most things outside your comfort zone are completely safe.

12. Do something kind for someone else daily

“Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad? If not, I have failed indeed. Has anyone’s burden been lighter today, because I was willing to share? Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way? When they needed my help was I there?” — Will L. Thompson (music and text)
If we’re too busy to help other people, we’ve missed the mark. Taking the time to spontaneously — as well as planned — helping other people is one of the greatest joys in life. Helping others opens you up to new sides of yourself. It helps you connect deeper with those you help and humanity in general. It clarifies what really matters in life.
As Thomas Monson has said, “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” That would truly be a failure.

13. Go to bed early and rise early

According to countless research studies, people who go to bed and rise early are better students. Harvard biologist Christoph Randler found that early sleep/risers are more proactive and are more likely to anticipate problemsand minimize them efficiently, which leads to being more successful in the business.
Other benefits of going to bed and rising early — backed by research — include:
  • Being a better planner
  • Being holistically healthier as individuals
  • Getting better sleep
  • More optimistic, satisfied, and conscientious
Waking up early allows you to proactively and consciously design your day. You can start with a morning routine that sets the tone for your whole day. You show self-respect by putting yourself first. In your morning routine, you can pray/meditate, exercise, listen to or read inspiring content, and write in your journal. This routine will give you a much stronger buzz than a cup of coffee.

14. Get 7+ hours of sleep each night

Let’s face it: sleep is just as important as eating and drinking water. Despite this, millions of people do not sleep enough and experience insane problems as a result.
The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) conducted surveys revealing that at least 40 million Americans suffer from more than 70 different sleep disorders; furthermore, 60 percent of adults, and 69 percent of children, experience one or more sleep problems a few nights or more during a week.
In addition, more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness severe enough to interfere with their daily activities at least a few days each month — with 20 percent reporting problem sleepiness a few days a week or more.
On the flip side, getting a healthy amount of sleep is linked to:
  • Increased memory
  • Longer life
  • Decreased inflammation
  • Increased creativity
  • Increased attention and focus
  • Decreased fat and increased muscle mass with exercise
  • Lower stress
  • Decreased dependence on stimulants like caffeine
  • Decreased risk of getting into accidents
  • Decreased risk of depression
And tons more… Google it.

15. Replace warm showers with cold ones

Tony Robbins doesn’t consume caffeine at all. Instead, he starts every morning by jumping into a 57-degree Fahrenheit swimming pool.
Why would he do such a thing?
Cold water immersion radically facilitates physical and mental wellness. When practiced regularly, it provides long-lasting changes to your body’s immune, lymphatic, circulatory and digestive systems that improve the quality of your life. It can also increase weight-loss because it boosts your metabolism.
2007 research study found that taking cold showers routinely can help treat depression symptoms often more effectively than prescription medications. That’s because cold water triggers a wave of mood-boosting neurochemicals which make you feel happy.
To me, it increases my willpower and boosts my creativity and inspiration. While standing with the cold water hitting my back, I practice slowing my breathing and calming down. After I’ve chilled out, I feel super happy and inspired. Lots of ideas start flowing and I become way motivated to achieve my goals.
Here’s a tip if you’re just starting out: start your shower warm, as usual. Let the warm water on your muscles allow you to stretch them out. After you’re stretched and washed, completely turn-off the warm and completely turn-on the cold. It really isn’t too bad at all. It feels incredible. Just do it for 60–90 seconds, then get out. You’ll be very pleased.

16. Say “No” to people, obligations, requests, and opportunities you’re not interested in from now on

“No more yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! or no.” — Derek Sivers
Your 20 seconds of daily courage will most consistently involve saying “no” to stuff that doesn’t really matter. But how could you possibly say “no” to certain opportunities if you don’t know what you want? You can’t. Like most people, you’ll be seduced by the best thing that comes around. Or, you’ll crumble under other people’s agendas.
But if you know what you want, you’ll have the courage and foresight to pass up even brilliant opportunities — because ultimately they are distractors from your vision. As Jim Collins said in Good to Great, “A ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’ is irrelevant if it is the wrong opportunity.”

17. Say “Thank you” every time you’re served by someone

It’s amazing when you meet someone who is expressively and genuinely grateful. It’s amazing because, frankly, it’s rare.
I remember one day while working as a busser of a restaurant as a teenager. Every time I went by a certain table, whether I was refilling waters, bringing food, anything… the kid at the table (no more than 20 years old) graciously said “thank you.” I even heard him from close proximity saying it to all the other employees when they stopped by his table.
This experience had a dramatic impact on me. It was so simple what he was doing. Yet, so beautiful. I instantly loved this person and wanted to serve him even more.
I could tell by how he looked in my eyes when saying “thank you” that he meant it. It came from a place of gratitude and humility.
Interestingly, one study has found that saying “thank you,” facilitated a 66 percent increase in help offered by those serving. Although altruism is the goal, don’t be surprised as your habit of graciously saying “thank you” turns into even more to be thankful for.

18. Say “I love you” 3+ times a day to the most important people in your life

According to neuroscience research, the more you express love (like gratitude), the more other people feel love for you. Sadly, people are taught absurd mindsets about being vulnerable and loving in relationships. Just this morning, my wife and I had to coax and prod our three foster kids to say one nice thing about each other, and to say they loved each other.
It took several minutes for our 8 year old foster boy to muster the strength to say he loved his sister. Yet, all of our kids constantly berate and belittle each other.
You know the feeling: when you want to say “I love you” but hold back. What a horrible feeling.
Why do we hesitate to express our love?
Why do we hesitate to connect deeply with others?
This may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, they’ll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.
I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. “When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. I’ve been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.”
“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” –Harriet Beecher Stowe

19. Consume 30 grams of protein within the first 30 minutes of waking up

Donald Layman, professor emeritus of nutrition at the University of Illinois, recommends consuming at least 30 grams of protein for breakfast. Similarly, Tim Ferriss, in his book, The 4-Hour Body, also recommends 30 grams of protein 30 minutes after waking up.
According to Tim, his father did this and lost 19 pounds in one month.
Protein-rich foods keep you full longer than other foods because they take longer to leave the stomach. Also, protein keeps blood-sugar levels steady, which prevents spikes in hunger.
Eating protein first decreases your white carbohydrate cravings. These are the types of carbs that get you fat. Think bagels, toast, and donuts.
Tim makes four recommendations for getting adequate protein in the morning:
  • Eat at least 40% of your breakfast calories as protein
  • Do it with two or three whole eggs (each egg has about 6g protein)
  • If you don’t like eggs, use something like turkey bacon, organic pork bacon or sausage, or cottage cheese
  • Or, you could always do a protein shake with water
For people who avoid dairy, meat, and eggs, there are several plant-based proteins. Legumes, greens, nuts, and seeds all are rich in protein.

20. Listen to audiobooks and podcasts on 1.5 or 2x speed, your brain will change faster

Listening to audiobooks at normal speed is so three years ago. There is a going trend — particularly in Silicon Valley — to listen to audiobooks at 150 or 200 percent called “speed listening.”
In 2010, the tech blog GigaOm suggested “speed-listening to podcasts” as an overall time-saving technique. Software called FasterAudio promises to “cut your audio learning time in half.”
If you want to get hardcore, a particularly useful tool is Overcast — a podcast-playback app with a feature called Smart Speed. Smart Speed isn’t about simply playing audio content at 150 or 200 percent of the standard rate; but actually attempts algorithmically to remove fluff (e.g., dead air, pauses between sentences, intros and outros) that bulks up the play time of audio content.
Use this technique and you’ll be consuming as much information as you once consumed caffeine.

21. Decide where you’ll be in five years and get there in two

“How can you achieve your 10 year plan in the next 6 months?” — Peter Thiel
There is always a faster way than you originally conceive. Actually, goal-setting can slow your progress and diminish your potential if you rely too heavily upon it.
In an interview with Success Magazine, Tim Ferriss said that he doesn’t have five or ten year goals. Instead, he works on “experiments” or projects for a 6–12 week period of time. If they do extremely well, the possible doors that could open are endless. Tim would rather play to the best possibilities than get stuck on one track. He says this approach allows him to go drastically farther than he could ever plan for.

22. Remove all non-essentials from your life (start with your closet)

“You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” — Greg McKeown
Most of the possessions you own, you don’t use. Most of the clothes in your closet, you don’t wear. Get rid of them. They are sucking energy from your life. Also, they are dormant value waiting to be exchanged for dollars.
Getting rid of underutilized resources is like injecting motivation and clarity into your bloodstream. While all of that untapped energy gets removed, a new wave of positive energy comes into your life. You can use that energy in more useful and productive ways.

23. Consume a tablespoon of coconut oil once per day

Coconut oil is one of the healthiest foods on the planet.
Here are 7 reasons you should eat coconut oil every single day:
  • It boosts HDL (good) cholesterol and simultaneously blocks LDL (bad) cholesterol buildup
  • It has special fats that help you burn more fat, have more energy, and maintain healthy weight
  • It fights aging and keeps you looking and feeling young
  • It reduces fever and acts as an anti-inflammatory
  • It is antibacterial and thus wards off possible illnesses
  • It improves memory and cognitive functioning (even for people with Alzheimer’s)
  • It can boost testosterone for men and balance healthy hormones level for both men and women
Coconut oil is a healthy alternative to caffeine. Eating a small amount will give you a shot of energy without the side-effects.

24. Buy a juicer and juice a few times per week

Juicing is an incredible way to get loads of vitamins and nutrients from fruits and vegetables. These nutrients can:
  • Help protect against cardiovascular disease, cancer and various inflammatory diseases
  • Guard against oxidative cellular damage from everyday cellular maintenance and exposure to chemicals and pollution.
There are several approaches you can take to juicing. You can reset your body by doing a 3–10 day juice “cleanse.” Or, you could simply incorporate juice into your regular diet. I do both from time to time.
I always feel enormously better after juicing. Especially when I get lots of intense greens like kale into my system.

25. Choose to have faith in something bigger than yourself, skepticism is easy

In the timeless book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill explains that a fundamental principle of wealth creation is having faith — which he defines as visualization and belief in the attainment of desire.
As Hill famously said, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
If you don’t believe in your dreams, the chances of them happening are slim to none. But if you can come to fully know the things you seek will occur, the universe will conspire to make it happen.
According to Hill (see page 49 of Think and Grow Rich), here’s how that works:
  • “Faith is the starting point of all accumulation of riches!”
  • “Faith is the basis of all ‘miracles’ and mysteries that cannot be analyzed by the rules of science!”
  • “Faith is the element that transforms the ordinary vibration of thought, created by the finite mind of man, into the spiritual equivalent.”
  • “Faith is the only agency through which the cosmic force of Infinite Intelligence can be harnessed and used.”
  • “Faith is the element, the ‘chemical’ which, when mixed with prayer, gives one direct communication with Infinite Intelligence.”
Like expressing love, in our culture, many have become uncomfortable with ideas like faith. Yet, to all of the best business minds in recent history, faith was fundamental to their success.

26. Stop obsessing about the outcome

Research has found that expectations in one’s own ability serves as a better predictor of high performance than expectations about a specific outcome. In his book, The Personal MBAJosh Kaufman explains that when setting goals, your locus of control should target what you can control (i.e., your efforts) instead of results you can’t control (e.g., whether you get the part).
Expect optimal performance from yourself and let the chips fall where they may. The organic output will be your highest quality work. Put most simply: Do what is right, let the consequence follow.

27. Give at least one guilt-free hour to relaxation per day

In our quest for success, many of us have become workaholics. However, relaxation is crucial for success. It is akin to resting between sets at the gym. Without resting, your workout will be far less than it could have been.
Foolishly, people approach their lives like a workout without rest breaks. Instead, they take stimulants to keep themselves going longer and longer. But this isn’t sustainable or healthy. It’s also bad for productivity and creativity in the short and long run.

28. Genuinely apologize to people you’ve mistreated

People make mistakes several times every single day. Sadly — and hilariously — much of the time we act like kids and blame our mistakes on external factors. Research has found that people who don’t openly and often apologize experience higher levels of stress and anxiety.
You don’t need that pent-up energy in your life. Make amends and let it go. It’s not your choice if people choose to forgive you.

29. Make friends with five people who inspire you

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
Who you spend time with is incredibly important. Even more fundamental is: what types of people are you comfortable around?
Your comfort level is one of the clearest indicators of your character. Are the people you enjoy being around inspiring or degrading, hard-working or lazy?
What kinds of beliefs do you friends have?
What kinds of goals are they pursuing?
How much money do they make?
What does their health look like?
All of these things dramatically impact you. And it is one of the most painful experiences in the world to become uncomfortable around people who have long been your friends. When you grow and evolve and long for more, you’ll begin seeking a different crowd to surround yourself with.
Misery loves company. Don’t let them hold you back. Move on but never detach from the love you have for those people.

30. Save 10 percent or more of your income

“I would have saved 10 percent automatically from my paycheck by direct deposit into a savings account earning the best possible interest compounded daily. I would have also disciplined myself to deposit 10 percent of any additional money from gifts, refunds or other earned income. I would have bought a small house outright with the money I had saved (instead of renting an apartment for over 30 years). I would have found a job that I loved and devoted my life to it. At least you could be happy even if you were not where you wanted to be financially. Hope this helps someone out there.” — D. Lorinser
Tithing yourself is a core principle of wealth creation. Most people pay other people first. Most people live above their means.
In total, American consumers owe:
  • $11.85 trillion in debt
  • An increase of 1.4% from last year
  • $918.5 billion in credit card debt
  • $8.09 trillion in mortgages
  • $1.19 trillion in student loans
  • An increase of 5.9% from last year
The U.S. Census in 2010 reported that there were 234.56 million people over the age of 18 years old, suggesting the average adult owes $3,761 in revolving credit to lenders. Across the average household, American adults also owe $11,244 in student loans, $8,163 on their autos, and $70,322 on their mortgage.
Simply switching to home-brewed coffee will save you an average of $64.48 per month (or $2 per day) or $773.80 per year. By putting the savings into a mutual fund with average earnings of 6.5% interest and reinvesting the dividends into more mutual funds over a decade, the $64.48 saved every month would grow into $10,981.93.
My wife once took an accounting class from a world-renowned accountant. His words on the first day of class, “The most important thing you’ll learn in this class, which most people will never learn: spend less than you earn. If you do this, you’ll be financially free.”

31. Tithe or give 10 percent of your income away

“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer.” — Proverbs 11:24
Many of the wealthiest people in the world attribute their healthy financial life and abundance to giving some of it away.
Most people are trying to accumulate as much as they can. However, a natural principle of wealth creation is generosity. As Joe Polish has said, “The world gives to the givers and takes from the takers.”
From a spiritual perspective, everything we have is God’s (or the Earth’s). We are merely stewards over our possessions. When we die, we don’t take our money with us. So why hoard it?
As you give generously and wisely, you’ll be stunned by the increases in your earning potential. You’ll develop traits needed for radical wealth creation.

32. Drink 64–100 ounces of water per day

Human beings are mostly water. As we drink healthy amounts of water, we have smaller waistlines, healthier skin, and better functioning brains. Actually, as we drink enough water, it’s safe to say we’re better in every way.
It’s a no-brainer. If you’re not drinking the healthy amount of water each day, you should critically assess your priorities in life.

33. Buy a small place rather than rent

Unless you live in a big city (which many of you do), I’m baffled how many people pay outlandish amounts on rent each month.
When my wife and I moved to Clemson to begin graduate school, we did a lot of front end work to ensure we’d be able to buy a home. What’s shocking is that our mortgage payment is far less than most of our friend’s rent payments. By the end of our four years here in Clemson, we’ll have earned several thousand dollars in equity and even more in appreciation. Conversely, many of our friends are simply dumping hundreds of dollars into someone else’s pockets every month.
Paying rent is like working hourly. You get money while you’re on the clock. When you’re not on the clock, you get no money. Earning equity is like having residual income. Every month you pay down your mortgage, you actually keep that money. So you’re not “spending to live” like most people do. You’re living for free while saving — often earning in appreciation.

34. Check your email and social media at least 60–90 minutes after you wake up

Most people check their email and social media immediately upon waking up.This puts them in a reactive state for the remainder of the day. Instead of living life on their own terms, they’d rather respond to other people’s agendas.
Hence, the importance of having a solid morning routine. When you wake up and put yourself, not other people first, you position yourself to win before you ever begin playing. As Stephen Covey has taught in his book, Spiritual Roots of Human Relations“Private victory always precedes public victory.”
Make the first few hours of your morning about you, so that you can be the best you can for other people. My morning routine consists of prayer, journal writing, listening to audiobooks and podcasts while I workout, and taking a cold shower.
After I’ve had an epic morning, and I’m clear on the direction of my day, I can utilize email and social media for my benefit rather than detriment.

35. Make a few radical changes to your life each year

Reinvent yourself every year. Novelty is an antidote to monotony. Jump into new pursuits and relationships.
Try things you’ve never done before.
Take risks.
Have more fun.
Pursue big things you’ve been procrastinating for years.
In 2015, my wife and I went from having no kids to having three foster kids (ages 4, 6, and 8). I’ve started blogging. I quit my job and started writing full-time. I completely changed my diet. I’ve changed my entire daily routine.
This year has been just as transformative as the last. It’s taught me that you can change your whole life in one year. I plan on changing my whole life for the better every year.
Change freaks people out. It immediately pulls you from your comfort zone. Which is exactly what you need. You’ll often feel like a fraud. But impostor syndrome is exactly what you should be seeking. Do your best to always be the dumbest person in the room and you’ll improve rapidly.

36. Define what wealth and happiness mean to you

“Be everything to everybody and you’ll be nothing for yourself.” — John Rushton
No two human beings are the same. So why should we have one standard of success? Seeking society’s standard of success is an endless rat-race. There will always be someone better than you. You’ll never have the time to do everything.
Instead, you recognize that every decision has opportunity cost. When you choose one thing, you simultaneously don’t choose several others. And that’s okay. Actually, it’s beautiful because we get to choose our ultimate ideal.
We must define success, wealth, and happiness in our own terms because if we don’t, society will for us — and we will always fall short. We’ll always be left wanting. We’ll always be stuck comparing ourselves and competing with other people. Our lives will be an endless race for the next best thing. We’ll never experience contentment.

37. “Change the way you feel, think, and act about money” — Steve Down

Most people have an unhealthy relationship with money. It’s not necessarily their fault; it’s what they were taught.
In order to change your financial world, you need to alter your paradigm and feelings about money.
Here are some key beliefs the most successful people in the world have:
  • In a free-market economy, anyone can make as much money as they want.
  • Your background, highest level of education, or IQ is irrelevant when it comes to earning money.
  • The bigger the problem you solve, the more money you make.
  • Expect to make lots of money. Think BIG: $100,000, $500,000, or why not $1 million?
  • What you focus on expands. If you believe in scarcity, you’ll have little.
  • If you believe there is unlimited abundance, you’ll attract abundance.
  • When you create incredible value for others, you have the right to make as much money as you want.
  • You’re not going to be discovered, saved, or made rich by someone else. If you want to be successful, you have to build it yourself.
When you develop a healthy relationship, you will have more. You won’t spend money on the crap most people waste their money on. You’ll focus more on value than price.

38. Invest only in industries you are informed about

Warren Buffett doesn’t invest in technology because he doesn’t understand it. Instead, he invests in banking and insurance. He’s not a tech guy. He invests in what he understands.
Yet, so many people invest in things they don’t understand. I’ve made that mistake. I once invested several thousand dollars in an overseas rice distribution. Although the investment sounded incredible on paper, it’s turned out to be a disaster.
I didn’t have the understanding to make an informed decision. I put my trust in someone else’s hands. And no one cares about your success more than you do.
From now on, I’m going to responsibly invest in things I can make informed decisions on.

39. Create an automated income source that takes care of the fundamentals

We live in unprecedented times. It has never been easier to create automated income streams. No matter your skill-set and interests, you can put a business in place that runs 24/7 even while you’re sleeping, sitting on the beach, or playing with your kids.
An entrepreneur is someone who works for a few years like no one will so they can live the rest of their life like no one else can.
If you want to free up your time and energy for the things that matter most, either invest in stuff you’re informed on (e.g., real estate, businesses, mutual funds), or, create a business that doesn’t require you (e.g., create an online educational course about something you’re passionate about).

40. Have multiple income streams (the more the better)

Most people’s income comes from the same source. However, most wealthy people’s income comes from multiple sources. I know people with hundreds of income streams coming in each month.
What would happen if you set things up so you were getting income from 5 or 10 different places each month?
What if several of those were automated?
Again, with a few short years of intentional and focused work, you can have several income streams.

41. Track at least one habit/behavior you’re trying to improve

“When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates.” — Thomas Monson
Tracking is difficult. If you’ve tried it before, chances are, you quit within a few days.
Research has repeatedly found that when behavior is tracked and evaluated, it improves drastically.
It’s best to track only a few things. Maybe just one at a time.
If you want to track your diet, a fun approach is taking a picture of everything you eat. Everything. This allows you the time to determine if you really want to put that in your body.
So, your tracking can be creative. Do what works for you. Use a method you will actually do. But start tracking.
As a consultant and executive coach, tracking and reporting behavior, daily, has been the number one factor in my client’s success. When you track something, you become aware of it. When you report something, you become accountable to it.
Most of my clients simply send me an email at the end of their workday with a few bullet points (e.g., I did 4 hours of work on my startup, I made 3 sales, I didn’t check social media before noon). Accountability to a spreadsheet or app is not the same as accounting to a person — particularly one you trust and respect.

42. Have no more than 3 items on your to-do list each day

When you shift your life from day-to-day reactivity to one of creation and purpose, your goals become a lot bigger. Consequently, your priority list becomes smaller. Instead of doing a million things poorly, the goal becomes to do a few things incredibly — or better yet, to do one thing better than anyone else in the world.
“If you have more than three priorities, then you don’t have any.” — Jim Collins
So, instead of trying to do a million small things, what one or two things would make the biggest impact?
Dan Sullivan, founder of Strategic Coach, explains that there are two economies: The Economy of Hard Work and The Economy of Results.
Some people think hard work is the recipe. Although this is completely true, the effort is often misplaced. Most people focus on the process or work first, and the result second. Conversely, those who determine the outcomes their seeking first can better discern which strategy will be most effective. Sure, that strategy may be out of your comfort zone, but as Tim Grover has said inRelentless, “When you crave the end result, the hard work becomes irrelevant.”
Tim Ferriss, in his book, The 4-Hour Body, explains what he calls Minimum Effective Dose (MED), which is simply the smallest dose that will yield a desired result and anything past the MED is wasteful. Water boils at 100°C at standard air pressure — it is not “more boiled” if you add more heat.
What is the fastest way to get your desired outcome?

43. Make your bed first thing in the morning

According to psychological research, people who make their bed in the morning are happier and more successful than those who don’t. If that’s not enough, here’s more:
  • 71 percent of bed makers consider themselves happy
  • While 62 percent of non-bed-makers are unhappy
  • Bed makers are also more likely to like their jobs, own a home, exercise regularly, and feel well rested
  • Whereas non-bed-makers hate their jobs, rent apartments, avoid the gym, and wake up tired.
Crazy, right?
Something so simple. Yet, when you make your bed first thing in the morning, you knock-off your first accomplishment of the day. This puts you in a mindset of “winning.”
Do it! It only takes 30 seconds.

44. Make one audacious request per week (what do you have to lose?)

“Rainmakers generate revenue by making asks. They ask for donations. They ask for contracts. They ask for deals. They ask for opportunities. They ask to meet with leaders or speak to them over the phone. They ask for publicity. They come up with ideas and ask for a few minutes of your time to pitch it. They ask for help. Don’t let rainmaking deter you from your dream. It’s one of the barriers to entry, and you can overcome it. Once you taste the sweet victory of a positive response, you’ll not only become comfortable with it, you might even enjoy it. But making asks is the only way to bring your dream to life.” — Ben Arment
I got into graduate school way after applications were due because I asked.
I’ve gotten free NBA tickets by asking a few players I saw at a hotel.
I’ve gotten my work published on high tier outlets because I ask.
Very few things in life are just randomly given to you as an adult. In most cases, you need to earn it and/or ask for it.
Yet, there are many opportunities currently available to everyone if they would muster the courage and humility to ask.
The entire crowdfunding industry is based on making asks.
Start making bold and audacious asks. What’s the worst that could happen? They say “No”?
What’s the best that could happen?
When you don’t ask, you lose by default. And you’ll never know the opportunities you missed out on.
Don’t sell yourself short. Ask that beautiful girl on a date. Ask for that raise or big opportunity at work. Ask people to invest in your idea.
Put yourself out there. You’ll be blown away by what happens.

45. Be spontaneously generous with a stranger at least once per month

Life isn’t all about what you can achieve or acquire. It’s more about who you become and what you contribute.
Interestingly, research done at Yale has found that people are instinctively cooperative and generous. However, if you stall and think about being helpful or generous, you’re less likely to do it. And the longer you wait, the likelihood of you being helpful diminishes. This principle applies to other areas as well, like creativity. The longer you wait to do something, the less likely it is you’ll do it.
So, be spontaneous. When you get the wild thought of buying the person’s food in the car behind you, just do it. Don’t think about it.
If you’re driving down the road and see someone with car trouble off to the side, just do it. Don’t think about it.
When you want to say “I love you,” to a loved one, just do it. Don’t think about it.
Paralysis by analysis is dumb. And Malcolm Gladwell explains in Blinkthatsnap-decisions are often far better than well-thought out ones.

46. Write and place a short, thoughtful note for someone once per day

The messages of handwritten letters impact deeper and are remembered longer than electronic messages. There is no comparison to this traditional form of conversation. Handwritten messages are so powerful that people often keep these notes for a long time. Sometimes a lifetime.
Jack Canfield has taught that writing 3–5 handwritten notes per day will change your relationships. In our email world, it can seem inefficient to hand-write and mail a letter. But relationships aren’t about efficiency.
Not only will handwriting letters change your relationships, it will change you. Research has shown that writing by hand increases brain development and cognition more than typing can.
Consequently, the things you write will be seared into your own memory as well, allowing both you and the recipient to reflect back on cherished moments.
Writing handwritten notes spices up your relationships, adding an element of fun. It’s exciting placing kind and loving notes in random places for your loved ones to find. Put a note under the windshield wipers of your loved one’s car to find after a hard day’s’ work. Hidden, wait til they come out and watch them from across the street. You’ll see their eyes light up and smile spread.
Other fun places include:
  • In the fridge
  • In the closet
  • On the computer keyboard
  • In their shoe
  • In their wallet
  • The mail box
Anywhere that makes the experience a surprise…

47. Become good friends with your parents

Many people have horrible relationships with their parents. I once did myself. Growing up can be tough and sometimes our parents make horrible decisions that negatively impact us.
However, my parents have become my best friends. They are my confidants. I turn to them for wisdom and advice. They understand me like no one else. Biology is a powerful thing.
Although I don’t see things the same way my parents do, I love them and respect their viewpoints. I love working out with my dad and talking about big ideas with my mom.
I couldn’t imagine not being close to them.
If your parents are still around, rekindle those ties or increase the flame. You’ll find enormous joy in those relationships.

48. Floss your teeth

About 50 percent of Americans claim to floss daily. My guess is that’s a large over-estimate. Either way, the benefits of flossing are incredible.
Doing so daily prevents gum disease and tooth loss. Everyone gets plaque, and it can only be removed by flossing or a deep cleaning from your dentist. Plaque buildup can lead to cavities, tooth decay, and gum disease. If left untreated, gum disease can be a risk factor for heart disease, diabetes, and a high body mass index.
Yes, not flossing can make you fat.
Not only that, but it greatly reduces bad breath.

49. Eat at least one meal with your family per day

If possible, eat a sit-down meal with your loved ones daily. It doesn’t matter if it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
We’ve become so high-paced in the world that everything we do is on the go. We’ve forgotten what it means to just be with our loved ones.
Eating together creates a sense of community like nothing else.
Teens who have fewer than three family dinners a week are 3.5 times more likely to have abused prescription drugs and to have used illegal drugs other than marijuana, three times more likely to have used marijuana, more than 2.5 times more likely to have smoked cigarettes, and 1.5 times more likely to have tried alcohol, according to the CASA report.

50. Spend time reflecting on your blessings at least once per day

Gratitude is the cure-all for all the world’s problems. It has been called, “the mother of all virtues,” by the Roman philosopher Cicero.
When you practice gratitude, your world changes. There is no objective reality. All people perceive reality as they selectively attend to things that are meaningful to them. Hence, some people notice the good while others notice the bad.
Gratitude is having an abundance mindset. When you think abundantly, the world is your oyster. There is limitless opportunity and possibility for you.
People are magnets. When you’re grateful for what you have, you will attract more of the positive and good. Gratitude is contagious. It changes not only your world, but everyone else’s you come in contact with.

Call To Action

If you want to focus on the right activities and get results 10x faster than most people, check out my morning checklist.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Trump - why I'm angry from the voice of a Democrap

In my lifetime I have paid about 50% for a democratic Presidency and 50% for republican.

I am a democrat, not because I believe everything that democrats do are so noble.  Politics are not noble.  Congress is a process.  In my lifetime the political party that does more for the human beings has switched from the Republican party (the party of Lincoln) to the Democratic party.  I'd have to say the first president to make me stand notice (as I finished high school) was Ronnie Reagan.  All his bull about making corporations more powerful than people.  The trickle down economics thinking that NEVER occurs.  His talk of war on drugs was a war on lower class.  Alcohol is a drug.  Cocaine and crack are different forms of the same thing.  Putting more people in prison has not helped people.  And it probably was highlighted in business school as I learned about financial theory that pushed me to believe the way I do (explain).

Naturally - I'm happy when we win.  Maybe not 100% happy but generally happy enough.  Of course I don't like when my President is a man whore, when he (or she; hopefully one day) trades money for the corporate agenda, or overlooks the growing corruption in congress (more on this later) and outright lies about his or her successes.

What I have hated under Republican rule is the growing support of Corporate welfare above our citizens welfare, sending us to an expensive war that doesn't really make us safer (Iraq) or claiming we are funding a war to make us safe when it is actually preserving profits for particular industries that have become something we used to avoid - monopolies (Oil, Finance, Real Estate).  I have not liked when our leader pretends to play hard ball but is really favoring certain leaders (i.e. those who rule the oil industry).  I have hated when our President is just a dope and doesn't read his teleprompter - no names.

Regardless the blue or red of it - the President is being paid by blue and red and all the independent parties.  You don't get to do whatever you want.

I was particularly fond of Barrack Obama.  I know he was not perfect - but he did not have thin skin as the majority House fought him for 8 years.  He did not Tweet, he did not dominate, he did executive orders when he was not getting the support he new was necessary.  He accomplished less than half of what he wanted to and wouldn't spend time on a goal he knew he couldn't win with an opposing congress (like racial issues)

I dont know how Donald Trump became the nominee in 2016 - I do not understand how he became the President for this next term but he did.  I don't argue that because apparently we don't want to look into all his conflicts of interest and possibly the support other countries supplied.

What I do care since January 20th is that we have a liar, a dictator, a thin skinned child and that Trump is really listening to and supporting the rich, the elite, building a bigger gap between the very rich (let's say the top 20% to be fair) and the 80%.  He fed his party all sorts of theories along the trail - that we have the worst economy, that we have greater threats from outsiders than from within our own walls, that we need to take back something....  like jobs.

We gave jobs to China, Central America, Canada, India - over the last 20 years.  Our overall economy is better than it was in the last 8 years (in part due to the Obama administration) - and the reality is we're so short sighted (yes democrats and repbulicans) we are unable to grow slowly because Corporations are greedy wanting big profits now compared to steady and sustainable growth.  Don't blame any one President - blame corporations and their lawyers and major contributions to members of congress... and a whole lot of other things.

I especially am in a twist over the roll out of this regime in trashing the very industry that lead to their imminent rise - the media.  If it were not for the media - Trump would not have received some $2M of free advertising.

I cannot stand that Trump's administration wants to trash science and ignore what we have been doing to the earth - polluting and warming the atmosphere with our transportation output, potential destruction of lands and animals, over harvesting of lands and waters - and all to turn a blind eye to these industries which are largely under managed.

I reject that all Republicans believe that Planned Parenthood is an abortion house.  I can respect that they want to reduce its use but the road to get there is no outlawing it.  My very own doctor and local hospitals perform abortions.  Our Federal dollars do not fund abortions... only private dollars do.

I can respect that Republicans dont want to restrict guns too much - but the reality is we have sooo many guns out there.  Are we concerned for the livelihood of gun manufacturers?  What is the real issue?

I care about our poor, our needy, our children, our seniors. Trashing programs to support our bottom 10% is futile.  If we are a great nation, we take care of our own people.

I care about our relations with other nations.  Putting up expensive walls that the 80% will pay for when we need to feed, educate and get our own to work is a better expense.  We already pay a ton for war, for border patrols, for airport security.  We have a bigger gap in our open oceans.  Don't cut our Coast Guards as we have.

Trump has the opportunity to either convince Democrats - or create a bigger divide between the 2 major players.  Sad.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Grim Reaper of 2016

Does it seem that there were more than the usual allotment of deaths in 2016?

Multitudes in the entertainment community - Prince, David Bowie, Glen Frey, George Michael... Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds..... Muhammad Ali, Leonard Cohen...45 on one site I noted compared to 32 the year prior.

This does not include the collection of pets and people I know personally.  The volume is one thing but something that happened to me this year is 2 people - I know a little bit who are both near my age died from heart related issues and both quite out of the blue.

I'm not sure if it is just that death has not knocked on my door too often or if I am just being sensitive.  One friend from church died of cardiac arrest - 52 years old. No other explanation.  I knew her a bit from church, got her an interview for a job and gave her a ride to a few places.  She struggled with unemployment and bad headaches but nothing big that I could tell.  Always dressed nice and great attitude.  Gone one day.

A second friend I had known just since late October.  We had been texting and messaging - met a few times for a meal, a concert, 2 movies, spend an afternoon or evening together.  5 hours on the phone during election night.  We had a few laughs and I had planned on having a many more.  We went to the movie on Monday - 24 hours later he is dead.

The guilt, the sadness, even anger.  What are they doing up there?

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Daddy Issues - 2016

Here's how we go:

I think about putting up some shelves in my bathroom to store some things out of the way.  I think about what I want to store, the kind of materials I should use and immediately think "dad".  I do run through in my mind our history of problems where we are going to work together and somehow we got derailed by your thinking, and my thinking.

I don't ask you to do it, I ask for your help.

Somehow that means we are going to do it your way which clashes with my way.

In your house, you do what you want and don't like others telling you what to do, when to do it, or how to do it but in my house, I dont get the same courtesy.

I asked you to make some shelves, yea wide by yea, deep.  I didn't tell you how and I didn't pressure you to do it quickly.  I trusted you would do it as you see fit.

You thought you heard me say that I would call you to come over and DO the shelves for me but that is not what I have asked.  But you did tell me you had some toggles that would work but you wont give them to me - you will only do it the way you want when you want.

And there is the classic " you do what you want, you're going to screw it up".

I am not going to allow you to tell me if something is screwed up.

Your comments are neither kind, teaching, helpful, useful or fair.

That's what a daughter needs to hear from her father - you'll figure it out and do fine.  

I need you to be the parent and let me fly.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Failures You NEED to Experience to Succeed

WRITTEN by 
Excerpt:
I fail far more than you might assume, especially given the fact that I’ve written hundreds of articles, coached thousands of people, and even written a book on forming productive habits, being mindful, and finding contentment despite our struggles.  I fail at all of those things sometimes, and it feels just as dreadful for me as it does for anybody else.
I come down hard on myself, feel guilty, try to avoid thinking about it, and would rather hide my failures from everyone I know.
Yes, failing hurts!  And yet, I brush myself off, get back up and try again.
More than anything else, here’s what you need to be willing to fail at to succeed in life:

1.  You have to be willing to fail at the original plan.

Life is full of screw-ups.  You’re supposed to fail sometimes.  It’s a required part of the human learning process.
I’ve learned that a more flexible, open mindset is what’s required.  When you are rigidly attempting to carry out a plan or reach a dream, and things don’t go exactly as planned, then you feel like a failure and every bit of positive action from that point forward gets derailed.  But if you have a more flexible and open mindset, and instead think, “This may not go as planned, but that’s OK because plans can change,” then it’s not a catastrophe when you realize you need to slow down, pivot or switch paths.
There’s no single path in life that you have to stay on to be successful and happy.  Success and happiness comes with noticing the progress you’ve made, and understanding that every lesson is a step forward.

2.  You have to be willing to fail at feeling completely confident and prepared.

For starters, extreme confidence is often just ignorance in disguise.  If you’re feeling super confident and cocky all the time, it’s likely because there’s something important you don’t know.
But the inverse of this equation can also be incredibly problematic – letting your lack of confidence stop you from learning and growing.  For instance, you may get so accustomed to the comforts of “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t want to” and “it’s too hard,” that you stop doing things for yourself and instead expect others to do everything for you.  And all this really means is you’re not achieving anything at all for yourself.  You’ve simply made yourself weak.
The key is to understand that you don’t need to be confident or feel fully prepared in order to make progress in life.  You simply have to befriend the possibility of failure and then step forward. Failing is learning, and learning is progress.
You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner?  The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.  Behind every great invention, creation or work of art is a hundred failed attempts to make it, but these attempts are simply never shown to us.
Bottom line:  Success always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone.  When you’re feeling a little unconfident and struggling to make progress, that’s when you’re growing stronger and smarter.  The more time you spend there, the faster you learn.  It’s better to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes growing, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running in place.  You want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability, stretching yourself over and over again, making mistakes, stumbling, learning from those mistakes and stretching yourself even farther.  (Read Drive.)

3.  You have to be willing to fail at fitting in and pleasing everyone.

The strongest and happiest among us are often the creative, daring ones who never go completely mad, even when everything gets crazy.  They aren’t so easily disheartened by the seemingly endless amounts of scrutiny that creative individuals tend to receive because they, like insanity itself, are the ones who feed off of opposition and negative feedback and manage to continue along with a healthy dose of ambition.  It’s the willingness to be different that teaches us to use our gifts wisely and own all the critics of the world, with smiles on our faces.
So remember, you don’t need everyone to like you and your creations.  You are like an artist with a gift.  Not everyone is going to see your beauty and talent.  Trust your intuition when it comes to working on what’s meaningful to you.  And know that trusting your intuition is equivalent to trusting your true self… and the more you trust your true self, the more control you have of making your biggest goals and wildest dreams come true, even when life’s inevitable changes and adversities get in your way.

4.  You have to be willing to fail at being OK all the time.

You can only grow by opening up fully to what you’re feeling.
Take any emotional feeling – love for a significant other, or grief over a lost family member, or fear and pain from a deadly illness.  If you hold back on your emotions and you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them, you can never get to the point of being detached from them.  But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to fully embrace them to the point where you’re effectively in over your head, you leave no emotion abandoned or question lingering in your mind.
You know what love is.  You know what grief is.  You know what fear is.  And only when you know these things can you say, “I’m OK again, and ready to move forward with my life.”  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” and “Self-Love” chapters of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

5.  You have to be willing to fail at doing it all by yourself.

Just because you don’t need to please everyone, doesn’t mean you have to go it alone all the time either.  There is a middle ground, and it’s OK to ask for help when you need it.
One of the biggest barriers to success and happiness is the significance we often place on the idea of “doing everything ourselves.”  Somehow as a society we have come to associate success with not needing any help from anyone.  Many of us are willing to offer a helping hand, but we’re hesitant to reach out for help when we truly need it.  Don’t do this to yourself.
For the last several years I’ve asked for help whenever I needed it, and doing so has made all the difference.  When I’m desperately struggling with something, I know I can either quit or I can figure out a smarter way.  But it’s not always easy to figure out a smarter way, so I reach out to Angel, close friends and family, mentors, peers who I respect, and I ask them for help.  They might not have all the answers either, but sometimes they do, and even when they don’t they still give me some necessary perspective.  Whatever happens, my family, friends, mentors and peers – my tribe members – never fail me.

Wellness - Secrets to Staying Healthy according to a nutritionist

by Lauren Berlingeri from mindbodygreen.com  2016-1-11
As a certified nutritionist, fitness expert, and international model. I have many health and wellness secrets up my sleeve to stay in top shape.
We’ve all heard the obvious ones that pertain to diet and exercise, but I’m about to share some that might surprise you. A few years ago, I was asked to star in a YouTube show called Woman vs. Workout, in which I participated in extreme athletic challenges from Navy SEAL training, motocross, FDNY training, and NASCAR racing, to name a few.
As you can imagine, the work was incredibly demanding. Not only did I have to push myself physically and mentally, I also had to look great while doing it. I found that diet and exercise alone was not enough to help me prepare for, and recover from, these challenges.
After the Navy SEALS training, it took two weeks for my nervous system to recover. I was breaking out from all the stress, and I needed to eat every few hours because I felt so depleted physically. I needed some solutions fast.
That's when I turned to these three healthy practices for an additional boost:

1. I reinvented my coffee habit.

I found that an average cup of coffee in the morning wasn't enough to keep me going through the challenges of the show. After reading about the benefits of Bulletproof Coffee and doing some experimenting of my own, I created a coffee recipe that turned me into a superhero. It's basically Bulletproof Coffee amped up a bit more! Here's what's in it:
Coffee + coconut oil + reishi mushrooms + turmeric + maca + cinnamon
What makes this recipe magic? For starters, the coconut oil boosts energy and speeds up my metabolism (as does the maca). Reishi helps prevent fatigue and supports cardiovascular health, while cinnamon helps regulate blood sugarand reduces cravings.
Finally, the turmeric boosts antioxidants and is anti-aging. So this coffee recipe basically makes you energized, skinnier, and younger! I drink it every morning now. I'm guessing if you try it, you'll become as addicted as I am.

2. I practice strategic sleep.

There's nothing worse than waking up feeling exhausted with a whole day of difficult tasks ahead. While filming Woman vs. Workout, I found myself tired at night, but too anxious to fall asleep, which meant I wasn't getting nearly enough rest to perform at my optimal level. It was time to take my sleep habits more seriously.
After trying many different methods of achieving better sleep, I found four variables that made a huge difference in the duration and quality of my shut-eye:
  • Room noise
  • Temperature
  • Darkness
  • Phone settings
While everyone is different, this is what worked for me: a sound machine, keeping the room temperature at 68 degrees, turning out all lights (and using thick curtains), and keeping my phone on airplane mode!

3. I started using an infrared sauna.

The last thing I discovered was an absolute game changer — the infrared sauna. I'd met a few influential doctors (including Frank Lipman, Mark Hyman, and Raleigh Duncan) who had told me about the wonders of the infrared sauna. So I decided to do some investigating on my own.
When I first read about the infrared sauna, I could hardly believe all the benefits. People boast about beneficial calorie burn, detoxification, skin purification, collagen production, reduction in cortisol, increase in serotonin, and muscle repair.
As soon as I tried the infrared sauna (which costs about $35 a session and can be found at wellness centers, like The Herban Alchemist in SoHo), I could feel all these benefits. It was like getting a massage, facial, and acupuncture all in one, and I was immediately hooked.
I credit infrared with helping me thrive while filming Woman vs. Workout,and I still use it to this day as my number one way to look and feel amazing. Full disclosure: I love it so much, I've started a movement to bring infrared to yoga and exercise classes through my company HigherDOSE (we install infrared heating systems in studios).
Implementing these practices meant better sleep and better performance in all areas of life. There's no doubt that proper diet and exercise are essential to a healthy lifestyle, but I recommend you try these three tricks to take your current routine to the next level. I promise you won’t regret it!

Monday, January 11, 2016

55 Reasons To Celebrate 55 Birthdays

Where have I been?  On another blog actually.  
Well, not even for some time now.

A week ago, I celebrated my 55th birthday and decided to come up with 55 reasons to celebrate turning 55 and here they are (less the fanfare of my Facebook page):





Reason #55 to celebrate 55 birthdays: attitude is everything... I can chose to be old or magnify my 55 years and carry on.
I think you know what I chose.


Reason #54 to celebrate 55 birthdays: FAILURE!!! and I've had my share - only means I haven't succeeded yet. Stay the course, evaluate the goal and my intention - learn the lesson - get back up and on my path.

Reason #53 to celebrate 55 birthdays: Truth / Facts. I love when someone (or something) presents the truth or facts and something other than the truth unravels and falls. What a golden moment that can be - and I have experienced it often when I avail myself to good information. As we head into this Presidential campaign I am especially poised to do some fact checking - and I hope that there will be some pillars of truth available.
Reason #52 to celebrate 55 birthdays: randomness! I tend to love order and plans and patterns and lists and schedules but I have learned to appreciate the random willy nilly in life and wow can it be fun.

Reason #51 to celebrate 55 birthdays: the kindness of strangers - people don't know you but quickly tear down the walls and set up as a friend. In the last week - I was asking complete strangers for a hug because it was my birthday and NO ONE turned me down. This is only one a recent example - I've enjoyed the kindness of strangers numerous times in my 55 years.

Reason #50 to celebrate 55 birthdays: diversity - what a joy it is to have in my life


Reason #49 to celebrate 55 birthdays: second chances (and third and fourth) we're humans and we need to be allowed to recover from our less than divine moments. I'm so glad people have given me another chance.



Reason #48 to celebrate 55 birthdays: YOU - I celebrate all of you who keep up this social media thing - inspire me, console me, help me, encourage me, and give me the opportunity to do the same for you. Take a look and share a smile.

Reason #47 to celebrate 55 birthdays: I celebrate everything I can still remember.

Reason #46 to celebrate 55 birthdays: science is magnificent and while I don't understand everything, I embrace the knowledge. I celebrate everything that has been added to the collection of science since my birth. For me, science is the study of what God created for us and the more we know about it - the more we understand His love for us.

Reason #45 to celebrate 55 birthdays: ability to change course. I said quitters never win but sometimes it makes sense to let go of the old and do something new and I've learned to be good at that. I have learned this people I admire most.

Reason #44 to celebrate 55 birthdays: by the time my birthday hits I've usually had about all the winter I care to have and I am counting down to the first day of Spring will be here and on my birthday there are ONLY 76 MORE DAYS till Spring and that's just over a month - I can do that. (and then I just countdown to Summer).  woo hoo

Reason #43 to celebrate 55 birthdays: yoga, how important it has been to my stressed out, type A-ish being. Here, Armando does proud cat pose a.k.a modified cobra pose or bhujangasana). Cats do yoga before and after any big energy draining effort...and I learn so much from them.  Namaste.


Reason #42 to celebrate 55 birthdays: improved ability to put the facts aside (temporarily) to give arbitrage and karma to work things out. 

How many times in my lifetime have I been in times of feast and times of famine - many. At 14 years old, I got up at 4 am to go get mom and dad gas during the 1970's gas "shortage". It happens - take a chill pill and see how things look later. Good advice from Dory, just keep swimming.

Reason #41 to celebrate 55 birthdays: charity - the more birthday's I have the more I see people - the ones we call good and the ones we call evil.... and I understand more about our struggle with one another. I have more charity and care more about more people than ever. I am less willing to rage against the machine and more willing to be part of a solution for people, animals and the earth.



Reason #40 to celebrate 55 birthdays: I embrace the goat. I'm not big on horoscopes or sun signs but I cannot deny people born at certain times of the year seem to show certain patterns of traits (if not behaviors) - and I am goat like. Strong-minded, singleness of purpose, and leadership rather than following.. also, good survival instincts.  Look in the Bible and we don't always have a positive light cast on us (but that could just be poor interpretation). As I said in an earlier reason to celebrate, I'm teachable. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


Reason #39 to celebrate 55 birthdays: Faith! For 16 years now I have had a good relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I didn't think I was religious or spiritual for so long - but after opening the window just a crack.... it seems I am both.  Note: not perfect, just teachable...and filled with faith



Reason #38 to celebrate 55 birthdays: In my lifetime, I have seen so much progress in health and wellness. So much more information is available to people, more options. We know smoking is bad - no two ways of looking at it. Cancer is treated differently. Surgery is less invasive and we recover faster. More is known about alternative types of treatments in all parts of human health. It used to be if you had what we call "mental illness" you'd be sent to a facility. Now, we know that is mostly not the best answer. IMHO more respect is given to both Western and Eastern and alternative treatments.
On the flip side - everything is more expensive relative to our average wages. And not everyone knows how to use the information available.... but I'm grateful for the progress.

Reason #37 to celebrate 55 birthdays: music - and I must say, I love my era of music - the best classic rock, modern rock, soft rock, alternative rock, easy listening, R & B, soul, funk, punk, grunge....
Boston     Journey     Foreigner     Stones     Chicago     Eagles     Doors     Sting
Cool & The Gang      Earth Wind & Fire         Luther Vandross      

 anyone associated with MoTown
Jackson 5     Michael Jackson     Peaches & Herb     GQ     Van Halen     Led Zepplin
Aerosmith     Santana     Genesis     Pearl Jam     Genesis     U2
..... and all of the the individual artists who broke out on their own
I cannot name everyone (well, I could try) all but 70's - 90's
Thank you to the founding parents - blues, jazz, boogie woogie, & gospel for birthing such a great family of sounds that inspired so many

(1/10/16 - RIP to David Bowie who def fit into this category)

Reason #36 to celebrate 55 birthdays: best paint store...very patient as I too one year to pick out my exterior color. Thank you Gray's Paint / Benjamin Moore on Woodside Road and San Carlos Ave, Redwood City.


Reason #35 to celebrate 55 birthdays: best deli in my hood, Woodside Deli


Reason #34 to celebrate 55 birthdays: purple pansies


Reason #33 to celebrate 55 birthdays: cartwheels - I can still do them and not get dizzy.


Reason #32 to celebrate 55 birthdays: jump rope - I can still do it, 100 in one minute.


Reason #31 to celebrate 55 birthdays: stubborn, determined, unstoppable as ever (maybe worse). Auntie D asked if I was going to go all the way to 55 and um - of course. Quitters never win and winners never quit.


Reason #30 to celebrate 55 birthdays: cousins - Ferranti's, Adam's, Booras's, Flocks and Powell's, their spouses or partners and children, those here and those on the other side... yay for cousins.


Reason #29 to celebrate 55 birthdays: Mobius Fit, 2 blocks away, always encouraging and positive... they help do my tune-ups.


Reason #28 to celebrate 55 birthdays: the glass if half full


Reason #27 to celebrate 55 birthdays: I own a tiny piece of property in my home town in Silicon Valley!!! 27 years this March 9th. Oh man are we in a bubble.


Reason #26 to celebrate 55 birthdays: capable, I'm quite capable to take care of myself still. No need for a cane or drool nurse - but when I need them, you can bet I will get the best.


Reason #25 to celebrate 55 birthdays: sleep - most nights of my life I get good sleep which we know is key to good health and resetting a day of life. When I want a quick refresh - I can take a 20 min cat nap and - generally, BAM! I feel better. Yay!


Reason #24 to celebrate 55 birthdays: the pets of my lifetime that have brought me pretty faces, purrs, squeeks, more restful sleep and enviable cattitude - so far a few Guinea pigs; Rosie and Snowflake, & cats from childhood - Tina, Tabitha, Tommy, Angel, Priscilla, Judy, Spotsy, Piggy Pork, Suzie, Stanton, (and a few other kittens from Angel I cannot now remember), Maximillian, Sophie, & Stella 
& cats of my adult life - Guido Luigi, Tavala Jean, Rosie Elizabeth (Grandma's girl I adopted), Benino Ludwig, Jasper Joseph, Peter Peepers and in 2013 we added my snow monkey Armando. I must mention the hundreds of cats I adored at Nine Lives Foundation - right now I will give a shout out to Rory, my special girl and Chunk - my blood brutha of 2015 - and Smokey in FIV (I could go on).
One day - a dog or two will be added to the mix, maybe some birds.   How much joy God's creatures bring to my life experience cannot be measured.


Reason #23 to celebrate 55 birthdays: Peru has been quite nice to me too. Whats not to love about my vecinos who treat me like a queen?


Reason #22 to celebrate 55 birthdays: the sweet and spicy people sent to me from India - they have danced into my work life and then become my special keetens often I speak of here on FB. I have visited this beautiful land just 2 weeks for work, I have seen the awesome Taj but NOTHING compares to these lively, happy, smiley, hard working, family loving and joyous people. I have learned so much from the gifts sent over from India. It does not surprise me the wealth of food, films and music that has followed them.

Namaste my keetens

Reason #21 to celebrate 55 birthdays: fields of wildflowers in Mariposa, CA (with a friend emeritus who has always shown me the way)


Reasons #19 & #20 to celebrate 55 birthdays: goodly parents, we have managed to drive each other crazy, and endured well. Dad has been labeled "the man who knows everything" by his neighbor - he can fix anything or tell you how. Mom was McWhorter's "pen sales queen" but mostly - the mom most my friends want as a shared mom. This mighty combination helped me be where I am today.


Reason #18 to celebrate 55 birthdays: clouds (anytime, every time)


Reason #17 to celebrate 55 birthdays: rainbows - I love them

Reason #16 to celebrate 55 birthdays: I have turned down the "I care" knob in exchange for more "zen". Still tuning (wow and zen - nyuck nyuck) ... it feels so good.


Reason #15 to celebrate 55 birthdays: some of my friends have endured as long as me or longer - meaning they have much to celebrate too. I can celebrate with my fellow Capricorns.  wwwwwinersssss!!!


Reason #14 to celebrate 55 birthdays: and closely aligned with reason #13, I have many lessons yet to learn and challenges yet to overcome and I embrace these with open arms now.


Reason #13 to celebrate 55 birthdays: wisdom (and in my opinion, this one is worth about 30) as I look back on the lessons learned and challenges overcome as cute as I was then - nothing looks better than "smarter" feels.


Reason #12 to celebrate 55 birthdays: at 55 and unmarried, people may think something about me and there is an old word that might describe my situation - but it does not define me (and the word rhymes with shminster). I feel good about me, about my attempts to find me a forever guy (the list is long and now extinguished) and while my prospects may not be as good as they once were.... I have never given up on me.


Reason #11 to celebrate 55 birthdays: I used to be upset because people (my brother mostly) called me a spoiled brat. Now I embrace it - and it is as true as ever at 55


Reason #10 to celebrate 55 birthdays: born and bred here in Redwood City, proud of my home town and my heritage - though it has endured many growing pains, earthquakes - I plan on being part of the solution and not part of the problem. So there Redwood City!


Reason #9 to celebrate 55 birthdays: sweet young neighbor learning all the right stuff to make a lady smile thanks to mom and uncle :-)  He gave me a rose in a vase.  muchos gracias vecinos.


Reason #8 to celebrate 55 birthdays: nice people at work (ok by nice meaning just as stressed as me keeping up with who, how, what, when) wanted me to just enjoy myself on my day. And that means I'm employed and that's worth celebrating.


Reason #7 to celebrate 55 birthdays: El Nino comes to wish me a happy birthday on my birthday - isn't that the best? All the rain (and snow) we've waited for 3 years. Looks like CC and I will get a snow shoeing weekend in and Shannon and I will get a ski day (we don't ski enough). woo hoo!


Reason #6 to celebrate 55 birthdays: even with a little bit of a cold, I managed some Pilates and a nice ooooohhhmm moment


Reason #5 to celebrate 55 birthdays: my mummsie, who licked soap from my eyes in the tub as a kid, calls me to tell me " I know you're busy, but happy birthday...you we're such an easy birth... "  
What a mom.  You'll all have to give me your Valium when she goes. Blessed am I, Yoda
e emoticon

Reason #4 to celebrate 55 birthdays:  decided rather late in the day to get 55 hugs....every store I have stopped in gives FREE hugs!  By 1/11 the number is 15

Reason #3 to celebrate 55 birthdays: social media, which I consider closing the door to about every other day, can be the best place to re-connect.... and here today... so many nice people reaching out with well wishing. Superficial? maybe but it still feels great.


Reason #2 to celebrate 55 birthdays: I'm younger than I'll ever be again - I'm going to live it up.

Reason #1 to celebrate 55 birthdays: the obvious one, I have 55 years to celebrate. That I know of, I have outlived a great grandmother, aunt and 2 cousins and many people who haven't gotten here.