Here's how we go:
I think about putting up some shelves in my bathroom to store some things out of the way. I think about what I want to store, the kind of materials I should use and immediately think "dad". I do run through in my mind our history of problems where we are going to work together and somehow we got derailed by your thinking, and my thinking.
I don't ask you to do it, I ask for your help.
Somehow that means we are going to do it your way which clashes with my way.
In your house, you do what you want and don't like others telling you what to do, when to do it, or how to do it but in my house, I dont get the same courtesy.
I asked you to make some shelves, yea wide by yea, deep. I didn't tell you how and I didn't pressure you to do it quickly. I trusted you would do it as you see fit.
You thought you heard me say that I would call you to come over and DO the shelves for me but that is not what I have asked. But you did tell me you had some toggles that would work but you wont give them to me - you will only do it the way you want when you want.
And there is the classic " you do what you want, you're going to screw it up".
I am not going to allow you to tell me if something is screwed up.
Your comments are neither kind, teaching, helpful, useful or fair.
That's what a daughter needs to hear from her father - you'll figure it out and do fine.
I need you to be the parent and let me fly.
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