On messaging we learn in our youth

 Inspiration for these thoughts are after talking with my neice after a series of life changes that were going on around her.

1. Are we really meant to be with someone?

    my answer: you may desire to be with someone (which is probably normal) but to do that you must meet and find someone who also wants the same things and you need to find that person you can get along with.  you need to both want each other and work out how and when and what you will do.  when you find some who does not work with you, or you with him - remember you can't change them and likely, they will not change you.

2. Were we trained to be in a partnership of some kind or were we just given the message that we weren't meant to be alone?

    my answer: if you grew up in a religious community, this may be driven by the "man was not meant to be alone" and "be fruitful and multiply."  Not everyone will marry or even end up in a successful partnership.  some continually try and fail.  Our modern idea of a relationship is likely not what God has in mind.

3. If you are forced out of work by your manager, is it really a bad thing?  Was it working for you and not for them?  

    my answer: probably it wasn't working for you either.  you do need a job, just not that one.

4. Do we overdramatize the bad and over hype the good?

    my answer: even bad things that happen can have a good outcome.

5. If you try and fail and try and fail is this really a problem?

    my experience: after being laid off from the "dot com crash" I applied for probably 100 jobs per month which might have resulted in 1 or 2 interviews a month and only part time temp jobs between 2002 and 2004.  for 3 years I "circled the drain" in mostly joblessness.  I grew a ton in that time and recieved a multitude of inspiration.  I also grew a testimony of God then. I did build some great friendships.  I was frustrated but happy.

6. Do you have this list of items to do:

    I will be happy if

    I will be happy when

    I am a success because

        and are your answers to these things true or based on some old set of rules you live by?

        do your rules or internal messages need a re-think?

    my answer: look at every story about Jesus.  In his adult life as he started on his "mission", 40 days of fasting in the wilderness and when he returned, he is always confident, he knows his purpose, he does not attack anyone but teaches and continues his work.

    what is your work?

    you might need to revisit some of the narratives you hold and see if you need to replace them and find a new pathway to happiness and success